The Silence

It is quiet, cold, and thick. I don't know the words to say or how to act. The social worker greets me giving a list of ideas. Thoughts on paper, but no one knows.

The psychologist can confirm nothing. I am nervous and uncomfortable which is crazy. I have done this before. Still, silence seems like my best option. 

She is nine. She looks a little bigger than my niece that is turning four. She is nine. She is silent. She says not a word. Her belly looked like it was going to burst. Lack of nutrition, parasites, and her roots never having been grounded in love. I'm still staring. She isn't the worst of the cases I have seen. It is her silence that has gotten to me. 

The head of the region looks at me and says, "She is a challenge, but I think you are the right fit. If anyone can help her, it is you. Your homes are the best we have got. Your attention to her needs is exactly what it will take. You are our hope." Blinking, I scratch my head. I'm not sure of what he said. Our homes have so much room to improve. On any given day I can give notebook pages covered with ideas, staff members that I desire, activities to implement, I feel so inadequate. We are the best? How sad to hear! I know deep down we could be. It is the money and volunteers that I lack. 

Still pondering and staring, "Is it a yes? Will you take her?"  I ask for an hour to give a firm answer. Even after an all go from me, what will they say in the states? What will her new house mom say? After getting every one on board and deciding to take her, I want to go back and see if I can speak with her. He laughed at me. 

Naive. Maybe. Not speaking does not mean she cannot hear. Not speaking does not mean she is not capable. 

I wonder of the silence that greets me is a disability. I wonder if it is because her development was hindered. And sadly, I fear it is from the trauma that so many of these little girls face. I quickly remember the Keylas that didn't speak from shock. I pray that He intervenes. I hope we get to see a miracle take place. I wait for a change so drastic that we are not "their best", it will be so obvious that our home is where "He lives, He works!" Because when I look at how the pieces have come together, no man can take that glory.