It's Not?

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” ~ Dr. Seuss

 I would like to believe that it is because "I care" about them that I stalk, rather frequently, other blogs of missionaries. People I follow are all around the world. Asia, Taiwan, Greece, China, Costa Rica, and yes... HONDURAS!!! There is a whole community of missionaries in this country, Honduras, that I secretely look upon. I wonder about what they are doing. If we can network. If they have an invention that I can use at the projects. If I can meet them and not feel judged. If I can get along with them without the suffocation of religion. The list goes on. As a fellow reader, YOU IDENTIFY! I am sure of it. The thing is, I am sure it is not because "I care" that I am an on-looker.

I feel threatened. Nervous. Scared. I am afraid to talk to a "gringo" that I see sometimes. My knees knock, my palms sweat, and I am afraid I will say the wrong thing. I pretty much always do. I answer the phone while I am yelling words that should probably not be whispered here, and then I see it is a fellow missionary, or worse... a Pastor.  My stomach just did a mini flip as I thought about the numerous times I have (without thinking first) said something offensive or ignorant. BUT hey! Im human!

Today I realized something, it is a really bad something. The same thing I am afraid they are going to do to me, I do to them. I get invited to a Bible study. I immediately begin to research the people to see their "views" on life. I ask mutual friends to dish the scoop. I want to know if it is okay for me to even introduce my kid, or worse... The Baby Daddy. If I bring them with me, what will be done that will make me turn red and hide behind a book with shame. Or what will I regret for the next six months every time I see them at the super market. It is nerve racking.

Yesterday I went for a ride with a friend. I showed her a local area that is stricken with poverty and has doubled, if not tripled, over the last year. As I drive, passing tarp and mud shacks held together with string, my heart aches. I have to fight tears as I watch a little boy play with an old wheel from a stroller tied to a long stick, and he plays with joy. I secretely am praying and screaming out to God to keep my baby from ever having to endure such a situation. I look further down the road and see a lady sitting on a metal chair frame. No cushion. No pad. Just a frame. "Thank you Father that I am able to sit on a chair." I drive a little further and see a home with three walls, not four. I think about the breeze they must feel each day and how nice that must be. Then I wonder if their baby cries at night when it is cold and raining because their is no protection from the down pours that we have experienced lately.  "Thank you Father, I have windows that close. I have doors. I have four walls of protection." Trying to avoid tears I quickly begin talking on some random, insignificant subject. Then it hits me. She cares. My friend cares. She is seeing what I see. She is feeling what I feel. She knows that these people need help too. She cares SO much that she is making a difference. She just sacrificed the last bit of her time to help us complete a vision that God gave us. She just poured her time and money into a project that isn't even hers. "Thank you Father!" 

Not everyone I meet will care to make a difference. Not everyone I meet will be as accepting as I am. Not everyone I meet will want to help other people. There are a few. A few can make a difference. I realize more each day, even if I am judged by the "others", it is okay. They are making a difference. They care. They are making things better. We all have our own way of going about it. Those other gringos... I am starting not to care so much how they "see" me.  Maybe we can make it better together. It is a whole lot easier, life is a whole lot happier, and things look a whole lot better when we stay focussed on the goal. I believe, we ALL have the same goal.

You can make it better. We can make it better! We Care!