Showing posts with label Being a Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being a Mom. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Santa, Christmas, and Helping Others!



“Mom, I don’t want to stay here for Christmas. I want to go to Mimi’s!”

“But Jayden, this is where we live. Why don’t you want to be home for Christmas?”

“Because Santa doesn’t come to Honduras!  Why not mom? Why?”

I had to think. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I let the words I had just heard sink in. How do I defend this? Does it really need a defense? I was frustrated by his persistence on something so insignificant.

Christmas. A celebration. A party of sorts in remembrance of our SAVIOR! He didn’t say Christmas doesn’t come to Honduras. He said SANTA.  We have spent the last couple days preparing for Christmas at the orphanage. He has begged for every nativity scene to come home with us because we need to have Baby Jesus under our tree. He gets the reason behind the season I love. What he doesn’t get is why Santa doesn’t come here with all the pretty packages.

At first, I thought this was awful. This child of mine that wasn’t grasping the reason Santa is not in Honduras. Then I remembered a note that I received from the director of his school. “Jayden is the first in his class to help and give to another student in need.”  The thought was reassuring in the moment. The kid that makes once a week visits to the school nurse. The English speaking kid that gets in trouble every week for speaking too much Spanish in school. The kid that is too rough for his age, and while the teacher says he is just playing, some how the other students tend to get hurt. That kid. He is my little giver. My helper. I quickly had flashbacks of how many times I would yell for him to stop giving away his toys because he wouldn’t have any left. Then I remembered the days we couldn’t buy groceries and he would give away his last cheese stick to the little girl that came and begged at the gate. If anybody understands the giving principal it is him. He gets it so well. He thinks Santa should be giving too. It is the poverty and dirt he does not see.

He lives surrounded by the poverty in this country. He has helped feed the poorest of the poor. He plays with them. Laughs with them. And he has helped them brush off the dirt as they stand up from falling off the rocks outside the feeding station. How do I explain that the families can’t afford presents without ruining the mystery of Santa? The real reason there are no pretty packages is because of the poverty that surrounds us?

He has asked why I haven’t started preparing the baskets for our kids. He likes to put in the drink packets. How do I explain that this year the ministry doesn’t have the funds for Christmas baskets so we aren’t giving to all the families at the feeding station? We only have enough for some families so we have plenty of time to get it done.

I have similar thoughts to his all the time.

I have turned down at least one new child every day over the past week. I pray that God sends someone to meet their needs so they don’t go to bed hungry at night because I can’t bring them home. I sob as I try to go to sleep feeling an agony so deep that it pierces my soul in an excruciating way. “God, let them know they are loved!”

I went last week to meet with a girl that is not just wanting placement, but needs it. I want to say yes. I just can’t right now. On the way home I stopped to pick up one last ingredient for the Christmas cookies we were going to make that evening. As I stood in the check-out lane Jayden picked up some “pretties”.  With all of his excitement “Look it! Look it!! Mom!!! Look at this!!!” I reluctantly turned to let him know I was sort of paying attention. “Can we get this for the new girl for Christmas? She would like it!”

How do I explain to a four year old that has more compassion than I do, the reason I can’t bring home more kids?

I think every year Open Doors makes a plea for help with Christmas baskets and Christmas presents.

My plea is for something more. It is for consistent monthly support. It is for families to “adopt” a child from afar and send them support so they can feel and experience the love of a Savior. What if this year instead of sending corporate gift baskets a corporate sponsorship of a child was made? What if instead of a gift to someone that already has everything, you gave in their honor to someone with nothing?

I think it would be great to play Santa all year. Not just stopping in the month of December. Giving a gift that will continue to impact and change a life. Making a difference. If that is something that would interest you please go to our website and donate now! Help us continue to be a blessing! 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I am with you!


My heart just melted a little more. A few of my kids have started to leave the "Mama Lauren" out of the equation. Mami is what is becoming the popular term. The first time I heard it from one of the older girls I thought it was a joke. It was always common among the younger kids, but not the teens. I was used to Mama Lauren. It didn't make me uncomfortable. People on the street said it down to most of our vendors. But Mami... It leaves more room for me to hurt and cause damage. It means more responsibility. It means I have to do more and be more. However, I just realized it is also a formal/permanent part of the family. Family is exactly what we are!

Today, a very precious and special friend lost her husband. As I began to feel helpless and useless because I am so far from her when she needs support the most I guess my countenance began to change. The kids started to notice something was different. One of them quickly became my shadow and grasped my hand following me every where I went. I was trying not to inform them of my thoughts at the moment. In my mind too much still needed to be completed and I did not have time for the distraction or emotional break downs.

Trying to continue to focus on life and the tedious tasks, I broke. A rush of memories came all at once. Thinking of road trips while we were still single. Making iced coffee and never getting
 it "just right". Sleepovers as young adults that involved almost no sleep before getting up to work. Giggle fests and pig outs on nasty food I will no longer touch with a stick. Tears shed from young teen memories, fears, and hurts. Boyfriends, weddings, husbands, children... Even though we are far apart now, the "friend" is never far away. I lost some tears and couldn't hold it back. I wiped them away and tried to move on, but was FEELING the pain and sorrow with my friend and her family.

Then I hear... 

"Mami, if you cry I am with you." 

IMPACT  

It began to flow out before I could think twice. As I began to share the details of my friends loss I found myself surrounded by the girls. One by one they found me and sat at my feet. They showed support and maturity as they began to pray for my friend and her children as they walk through the next chapter in their lives. They were standing in the gap for a woman that they have never met, but I assure you they see pieces of her all around down here. Feeling so helpless, but so blessed in this moment. Resting in knowing that He is there. I was reminded of Isaiah 41:10 as the Bible tells us He is with us. Genesis 28:15 and even in Acts. It is spread far and wide... He is there! 

It doesn't matter what we are facing. Fear, worry, loss, anger, hurt... The list goes on, but the promise is the same. He is there. In the midst of it all! Much like my kids holding my hand and walking through it all with me and just because it is important to me today. He won't leave or hide. He will stay and through it ALL, HE IS THERE! The BEST family we can have is found in Him! Better than a mom that clings to her newborn trying to protect it from harm, He is there.


Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.